Some Jokes

A dad walks into a market with his young son.  The boy is holding
a loonie. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face.
The dad realizes the boy has swallowed the coin and starts
panicking, shouting for help.
A well dressed, attractive, but serious looking woman in a blue
business suit is sitting at a coffee bar in the market reading her
newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion,
she looks up, puts her coffee cup down on the saucer, neatly folds the
newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes
her way, unhurried, across the market. Reaching the boy, the woman
carefully takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze, 
gently at first and then ever more firmly. After a few seconds the boy
convulses violently and coughs up the coin, which the woman deftly
catches in her free hand. Releasing the boy, the woman hands the coin
to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without
saying a word.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no lasting ill effects,
the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying,
"I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic.
Are you a doctor?" "No," the woman replies, "I work for Revenue Canada".

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While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Wally and his
wife Carolyn listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential
that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each
other."
He addressed the men, "Can you describe your wife's favourite flower?"
Wally leaned over, touched Carolyn's arm gently and whispered,
"Robin Hood, All-Purpose, isn't it?"
And thus began Wally's life of celibacy.

http://www.seniorschoice.com/kelowna/ArticleView.php?article_id=31
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A fiftyish woman was at home happily jumping on her bed and
squealing with delight. Her husband watched her a while then
asked, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's
the matter with you?'
The woman continued to bounce on the bed and said, "I don't
care how ridiculous I look. I just came from having a
mammography and the doctor says I have the breasts of an 18-year
old."
The husband said, "What did he say about your 55 year-old ass?"
"Your name never came up," she replied.

Source http://www.seniorschoice.com/kelowna/ArticleView.php?article_id=31
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Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.

Source http://www.seniorschoice.com/kelowna/ArticleView.php?article_id=31
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Joe was traveling through United States on vacation when, lo and behold, he
lost his wallet and all identification. Cutting his trip short, he attempts
to make his way home but is stopped by the Customs Agent at the Peace Arch
border.
"May I see your identification, please?" asks the agent.
"I'm sorry, but I lost my wallet," replies the guy.
"Sure, buddy, I hear that every day. No ID, no crossing the border", says
the agent.
"But I can prove that I'm an Canadian !" he exclaims. "I
have a picture of Brian Mulroney tattooed on one butt cheek and a picture of
Jean Chretien on the other".
"This I gotta see..." replies the agent.
With that, Joe drops his pants and bends over in front of the agent. "By
golly, you're right!" exclaims the agent. "Go on home to British Columbia".
"Thanks !" Joe says. "But how did you know I was from
B. C. ?"
The agent replies, "I recognized the picture of Gordon Campbell in the
middle".

http://www.seniorschoice.com/kelowna/ArticleView.php?article_id=31

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